In recent years there has been a lot of talk about well-being. It is measured, quantified, displayed. However, there is rarely any distinction between feel good y be really well. And that difference, though uncomfortable, is key to understanding why many people perceive themselves to be happy while, in reality, they live disconnected, emotionally fatigued or empty of meaning.
The soundest welfare science agrees on one essential point: face-to-face, sincere and emotionally involved human relationships are one of the most important determinants of physical, mental and spiritual health.. Not relationships of convenience. Not the ones that are window dressing. Not the ones that only work when everything goes well.
This approach is neither a romantic intuition nor a recent philosophical conclusion. It is the central thesis of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest longitudinal study ever conducted on the human lifespan, active since 1938. After more than eight decades of analysing the physical, mental and emotional evolution of thousands of people, its conclusion is clear and compelling: the quality of human relationships is the strongest predictor of health, longevity and sustained well-being., This is far more important than professional success, social status or income. It is not about how many people surround us, but how many can be present when life is no longer comfortable.
This study is also the basis for the concept of flourishing, which is not just about “feeling happy”, but also about living a life that works. Human flourishing is assessed along six dimensions: happiness, physical and mental health, meaning in life, character, relationships and material stability. In this global map of well-being, Spain is situated at an intermediate point. But with a revealing peculiarity: here, it is not economic security but the quality of human relationships that is most important in the perception of well-being.. Don't feel alone, but accompanied. That your group of friends is there. That at fifty your mother asks you if you've had a snack. Meeting up to train together, because -as personal trainer Adrián Rodríguez reminds us- “doing sport in company is not only more fun, it also makes the effort more bearable and sustainable”.
Relationships that add... and relationships that subtract
Not all company is protective. Surrounding oneself with “filler” people - those who are only there for the party, escape or superficial validation - can be even more damaging than loneliness. Such attachments, focused on appearing constantly happy, avoiding conflict or celebrating without question, can be even more damaging than loneliness, construct a falsified reality.
The problem is not shared joy, but its obligatory nature. When we are only accepted if we are well, smiling and available, a silent pressure is generated: not to disturb, not to deepen, not to show cracks. In the medium term, this Increases frustration, feelings of incomprehension and emotional isolation., even if we are surrounded by people.
Loneliness hurts, but false companionship confuses. And sustained confusion erodes real well-being.
The therapeutic power of sharing the difficult
The truly sustaining relationships are not the ones that distract us from pain, but the ones that allow us to go through it accompanied. Sharing hard times - a bereavement, a break-up, a depression, a life crisis - does not weaken us; it humanises us.
When someone trusts us with their fragility, something profound happens:
- We feel tools, not replaceable.
- We reaffirm ourselves as people with the capacity to support, listen and accompany.
- It activates a motivation that does not come from the ego, but from the bond.
This exchange not only has a therapeutic effect on the person receiving support, but also on the person offering it. Accompanying with real presence strengthens the meaning of life, It nurtures values such as empathy, emotional responsibility and compassion, and makes us feel - literally - better people.
And that is also health.
Perceived wellbeing vs. deep wellbeing
Perceived wellbeing is often associated with immediate pleasure, absence of conflict, external validation. Deep wellbeing, on the other hand, is built in less aesthetic but much more nourishing spaces: honest conversations, shared silences, tears that do not discomfort, truths that are not edited.
Real relationships regulate stress, stabilise the nervous system and strengthen our identity. Not because they are easy, but because they are authentic. They remind us that we are not alone in the essentials, even when life gets tight.
The invisible cost of individualism
In a society increasingly focused on self, self-sufficiency and emotional comfort, we are losing something valuable: the ability to be truly involved in the lives of others. Not for lack of time, but for lack of willingness.
This growing individualism not only impoverishes links; undermines our emotional and spiritual well-being. Because the meaning of life is not built alone. It is woven in exchange, in affective commitment, in real presence.
To flourish is not to avoid pain, it is to share it.
True well-being does not consist of living permanently well, but rather in having someone to live it all with. Joy, yes, but also loss, fear and uncertainty.
Deep human relationships are not an add-on to well-being: they are its backbone. And recovering them - away from noise, appearance and superficiality - is one of the most therapeutic and revolutionary acts we can do today, both for others and for ourselves.
And this is no poetic exaggeration: the World Health Organisation (WHO) has identified loneliness and social isolation as a real global public health challenge.. According to their 2025 report, About one in six people in the world experience this painful feeling, which is associated with increased risk of serious illness and hundreds of thousands of deaths each year, while about one in six people in the world experience this painful feeling, which is associated with increased risk of serious illness and hundreds of thousands of deaths each year, while about one in six people in the world experience this painful feeling. strong social connections can lead to healthier and longer lives
