In the sea of life, we surf the waves of our relationships, and in that swell, love becomes the sailboat that gives coherence and colour to our existence.
But not just any love, but a love that deserves the title of wholesome, a love that is practised with the skill of a conscious craftsman. We have already travelled enough roads to understand that simplicity is the essence of harmony. A love that does not need to juggle the difficulties that life inevitably presents us with.
Love arises in contact with the strangeness of the other, not in projecting onto the other what I need the other to be for my own peace of mind. Because if love ends up being that, it is not love. Those who think that love has to do with oneself and not with the other are appropriating a sense of love that comes from the ramifications of an untransformed ego.
Thus resulting in the greatest of our selfish mistakes, turning such a noble passion as falling in love into a prison-like necessity for ourselves and others.
As soon as we feel in love we transform the admiration that arises naturally into the artifice of possessing what the other should be for my ideal partner. We do not allow for much contact with the other who is different, we do not leave room for the freedom that drives love, we exhaust our desire by satisfying our shortcomings, we strangle the development of our hearts by not respecting the different reasons.
Love is simply surrender
If in love the other is more important, there is surrender. If you go in favour of yourself in the name of love what you are doing is selfish business. That's why, when one loves, the priority is the other. Love is to withdraw myself so that the other can be. It is the desire to accompany the loved one so that he or she can become what he or she is called to be.
We do not harbour unreasonable demands, but only yearn for the transformation that comes from a love as simple as it is profound. We do not ask for perfection, for we know that imperfection is the fertile ground where mutual growth grows. But we do yearn for the constant will to improve, to learn and evolve together.
Let every challenge be an opportunity to strengthen us, and every achievement a reason to celebrate. May it be eternal in its essence, though not in its form. May it endure beyond the changing seasons of life, weathering the storms that seek to erode its essence.
A love that, like good wine, improves with time, enriched by shared experiences.
The first task is to temper the inherent voracity that devours others and oneself in the process of falling in love as a transitory mental alienation.
May it be a love that nourishes rather than consumes, that builds rather than destroys. May it be a love that does not judge, does not reproach and does not want to make us change. May it be a love that navigates in respect, empathy and compassion for our own and others' vulnerability.
May the past, far from being a burden, be an ally, a guide that teaches us the lessons necessary to forge a stronger future together. And so, with that acquired wisdom, welcome the present with open arms, knowing that love is a daily practice.
In short, let us build a healthy love, simple but deep, capable of overcoming challenges without artifice. Let us not seek perfection, but the constant will to perfect and transform together, aspiring to an eternal connection in its essence and impermanence.
Let us not allow wacky, capricious and unstable love to enter our sanctuary.
Let us reject the extravagance of sincerity and the instability of authenticity; practising vulnerability, flexibility and daily awareness, aspiring to illuminate our lives with the soft light of healthy love.
Because, at the end of the day, we ask for nothing more than a love that makes us better people, that illuminates our lives with passion, understanding and acceptance of an existence that is becoming short. Because in life we will always be saying goodbye and that cannot stop us from going out to sea.
The fear of dying, in truth, is the fear of living, of embracing every moment, of feeling and flowing. So remember, for your last journey, that the sea is all about a-sea without any baggage.
If I love me, I love you. And if I love you, I love me.
Prolonging life by loving and looking at an infinite sea reflected in the eyes.
EN